Helpless

“Death is terrifying because it is so ordinary. It happens all the time.”

I totally agree with it. I am writing this post in a very disillusioned state of mind right now. It is alarming how something as 'ordinary' and 'mundane' as death disturbs us to alarming extents. Something even more mind-boggling is the fact that we don’t really value a person until he/she is gone. We recently lost a boy at school to Cancer. I was surprised at how unfeeling my reaction was, which is probably because I did not know him. But it still felt unreal. Someone, whom you’ve been seeing almost every day, is suddenly not there. You don’t know where he is, and never will. The emotions vary, but the reaction is the same, that of awe. When my brother died, I cried, and then I ran out of tears. When a fellow student was lost to Cancer, I did not cry, but it was dreamlike. My classmates, who were old students of the school, mourned his death and I kept wondering how fortunate he was to have so many people who will remember him by. Most importantly, I somehow believed that he will come back to see it and all this will remain just another episode in our lives. People always say that your beloved ones never die and that their memories last in your mind forever. I don’t believe that. I believe that time is cruel. It eases your pain, and fades your memory. It forces you to move on and you finally start questioning that force within. You keep asking him/her if life, something that we marvel, does not cut-out to be so fascinating when you look at death so closely. You move on, and mercilessly , life moves on with you.