Past

g

I gaze, as I pass by those familiar structures,
Those crowded, colloquial streets buzzing with life,
Those familiar faces, though pretentious, asking me to come back,
The delightfully dirty street food, asking me to savor it,
The slow, chaotic traffic movement, signaling the flow of my life,
The edifice of my existence which envisioned my growth,
The seasoned gust of wind, grasping me, holding me back,
The complacent breeze, which coiled me in the comfort of its lap,
The emotional remembrances making my existence stagnant,
The ray of hope, making itself stronger than any internal force,
Delving into those greasy pores of frustration, pushing me,
Begging me to take another step to happiness, another dive into delirium, another whirl to satisfaction.

A Loyal Companion

She stuck to the wall,like an unwanted cobweb,
tears welled up in her starry eyes like they were about to explode,
They flowed,unstoppable,inexplicable,unintelligible.
She did not know the reason,
for her sorry outburst,
Just the relief ,the comfort,the easement,
As if somebody was putting her to sleep with a soothing lullaby,
She lay cradled in the void,the nothingness,
that surrounded her life now.
But still,she felt comforted,that those auxiliary drops of relief were with her,
That they were the ones who would never desert her,
In those testing times of pain,
In those flashing moments of happiness,
During those wicked waitings and endurances.

A Tryst

I constantly fight a battle,
A battle with myself and the world around me,
I wonder, I wonder if I can ever run from those blows of ego,
Which constantly conspire to break me, to ruin me, to tear me apart?
I wonder, if I will ever be able to peep into my soul and tell myself,
That I am content and life is what it is meant to be.
I ask myself, as the world revolves around me,
If I am truly seeing those wheels within wheels,
Or is it just a figment of my florid imagination.
I flinch at myself, every time I yearn to win a losing battle.
I confront myself when I compete with the entire universe,
When the only person I should be competing with, is myself.

Random Stuff Out of Nowhere

Oh agony...thy name should have been loneliness,
She declared,
As she looked into the piercing silence,
Which shattered her peace of mind with every passing eternity,
She lay there, staring into oblivion unaware of the purpose of her existence,
The void eating into her lonely heart which longed for solace,
Which longed for happiness.
Her life was as still as the picture hung on the wall,
Though the thump of her heartbeat seemed like a clamor,
Which could not be silenced till it was stopped or destroyed or relived?

What Remained Old in a New School

I just got the results of my class 10th board exams.Even before I got promoted to 10th I knew that Arts was the stream I wanted to opt for in 11th std.For that,I needed to change schools.So I went to Sardar Patel Vidyalaya.I was mentally in SPV but physically in VVDAV.I had been studying in VVDAV since kindergarten.But I still thought transferring to another school will not be a big deal since I was a big girl now.But alas...my heart was where my future was not.I started missing all my friends immensely.Friends who knew what I was,who I was.Friends,who never judged me,but just accepted me for who I was and still am.Friends,who would tell me on my face that I was boring them and that I should change the topic before they slap me.Friends,who would text me at one'o clock in the morning asking me 'what's up?'.Friends,who blended so well in my life that they became a part of me.They were the ones responsible for coiling those strands of complacency around me so much that I started hoping for them to come and give me a high five even when I knew that I would never ever get to see them again.Even if I wanted to.So that is the reason why I became so uncomfortable in my new school which had better teachers,better infrastructure and a better reputation.I became uncomfortable and immensely quiet.It reminded me of the lull before a storm.I am still looking for that satisfaction,that happiness,that joy,that comfort and that sense of belongingness in Sardar Patel Vidyalaya.

Why Teenagers Go Ga-Ga Over the Twilight Saga

Most adults won't even know who Robert Pattinson is,unless they are parents of teenagers,especially teen girls.The popular series has teen girls(and some not-so-teen girls also)from around the world worshiping the delicious male vampire from the main plot-Edward Cullen.Girls know that the story is next to what you would call 'perfect fiction'but still can't stop dreaming.Why?Because reality doesn't have a man telling his lady love that "You are my life now" or saying that their lady love is the most beautiful woman in the world no matter how she looks or promising to love her everyday forever,and keeping that promise.All the Twilight fans I know have become disinterested in relationships because they are looking for their Edward Cullen or the equally popular Jacob.Women know that they don't make men like that anymore but want to get what they deserve and not what is thrust upon them.Sometimes by fate and sometimes by destiny.The saga gives them happiness when they think that some day they may find 'him' and there will be a voice inside their head telling them that no matter what happens,he will stick by their side and go to the end of the world for them.Swooning over the Twilight Saga is not stupidity,it is just an attempt to deviate from reality.I may be saying all this because I am an ardent devotee of Edward Cullen too or just because I don't want to stop daydreaming or just because I want to prove to all those disbelievers that the saga has not become a rage for some frivolous reason or......

Dear Reader

I am not a writer.My English Teacher was way too generous with me.I am just a hormonally-charged teenager who needs a medium to vent out her frustration.Maintaining written records daily in my personal diary was an extremely cumbersome process and having a digital diary was an extremely risky undertaking.So I decided to start writing a blog,which people may,or may not read.People whom I have never met,or talked to or heard about before.People who are not going to judge me by who I am,but by what I write.Strange,oblivious and obscure people who are just as bored and frustrated as I am.I am not looking to be an acclaimed writer through a trivial blog.I am just want to have a virtual medium to express who I am,who I want to be,what fascinates me,what annoys me,and most importantly,things that sadden me.Though watching 'Julie and Julia' does make me daydream.